I have been complaining bitterly to God for years. For example, when I get really upset, I say things such as: "Lord Jesus, You are quoted in, Matthew 11:28 - 30, as having said:"
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
I do believe that your words may be true for others; however, these beautiful promises don't seem to apply to my life. You have allowed the
devil to attack me both directly and indirectly (by using evil people) for my entire life. And while it may be nearly impossible for many naive souls to believe that, nevertheless, You know that I am telling the truth about the attacks and about the miracles that I have witnessed. Just as it is true that my life is a witness that God, Christ, and the great saints are real and true, and that miracles really do happen! My life is also a witness that God will permit the devil to attack a soul for what is - so far - an entire life! To put it simply, you cannot claim that a lifetime of these ongoing attacks - attacks that occur 24 hours a day, and 7 days a week - attacks, which are happening right now, even as I write this - in any way resembles: the finding of; "rest unto your souls" - or; a 'yoke that is easy, or a burden that is light!' My life refutes these words - I wish it weren't the case - but, unfortunately, during the time of my entire life experience on this earth, these beautiful words have never applied to me!
An evil force has been digging into my left shoulder for years - with varying intensity - depending upon how angry the
devil is at any given time. The attacks get extremely bad when I am working on anything related to this witness of God's existence and the reality of Divine Miracles. And God permits it! Even now God is permitting the vicious attacks - and there are many variations - and these attacks have been going on for years!
My Lord Jesus, your words, "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." - are very beautiful, unfortunately, they do not apply to my life - at least not yet. How is it possible for me to give a witness to your mercy, grace, peace, protection, or Eternal Salvation, when none of these Divine gifts have been given to me in the final or ultimate way?
You have given me Divine miracles but not Divine mercy.
You have given me Divine visions but not Divine grace.
You have given me Divine healing but not Divine peace.
You have given me Divine dreams but not Divine protection.
You have given me Divine visitations but not Eternal Salvation.
The constant assaults of evil would force me to despair, except for the fact that, I know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that God exists eternally. The value of my life on this earth is that I have discovered these truths:
God is real.
Christ is real.
The Holy Spirit is real.
Miracles are real, and, God really does talk.
And, unfortunately - for us - God allows evil to exist.
Fortunately, for all of us, the ultimate reality and final Truth is that:
God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, and the entire Heavenly Host, exist for all Eternity. And, to comfort you, I will tell you a secret that I was given in a state of Grace. It is just this: "God never loses." This was given to me directly when I was - through great Grace - put, for a time, into a state of Joy that was almost unbearable in its intensity.